You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.
I talk to my best friend, on average, about twice a week. I see him once or twice, each week. My best friend. For years. We’re not fake with each other, we’re mostly considerate with each other, and we’ve shared some meaningful stuff. If you want me to put more energy than that into our relationship, and you still want to be “friends,” then go find someone else. Honestly, that just sounds selfish and possessive to me.
When my ex wanted to “stay friends,” she’d text me nearly every day, want to hang out with me about every other day, and then even went to the trouble of improving my relationship with her mother. And yet, she was shocked and taken aback when I said I had developed feelings for her. I’m sorry, but that’s absurd. It’s the same as a relationship, just without the mutual commitment and support.